Marriage Counseling for Russian BridesElena - Russian Women Counselor
 
Marriage and Family Counseling for Russian American Families and Cross Cultural Relationships
Helping to Save Marriages between American men and Russian Brides
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Chapter 2: It all speaks for itself or What American men say about Russian women?

I am in love with a Russian woman, and I want her to stay a Russian woman. It is not my purpose to change who she is. I love who she is very much. My goal instead is to reach a mutual understanding about the cultural differences. And while I do not want to change who she is, or change her soul and personality created by the influence of her culture, I stand willing and able to adapt myself to her needs and wants, and to help her understand American culture. >>>

First time saw in words what I have been trying to describe as my feeling of the Russian woman epitomizing femininity and elegance. Well said - indeed. >>>

What is the motivation? Can it actually be that magical? No...The root is a desire to achieve more in life. From the FSU to have a life without so much uncertainty. From the USA to attain a life with so much certainty. Kind of a blending of desires. A union of goals. Each with a unique perspective and view of reality. Nether right or wrong. If it feels right...it is. If it feels wrong...move on. Decide for yourself which is real, follow that path, and never ever look back. Life will create its own rewards. >>>

I have no idea how big a difference there is yet, our language barrier has so far, not let us talk enough to find out exactly what is going on inside each other...Natasha is a constant source of amazement to me. I was glad that I did see little human flaws in her, I am glad that we did have a few small misunderstandings. I hope to unwrap a lot of the mystery in the time, but actually it is kind of nice having a bit of mystery left over and I hope that never completely ends. I am convinced that there are very big differences between these East and Western women...Every little kindness to Natasha is repaid to me in double amount and I don't think that treatment is ever going to end. I get more of a great partnership feeling with her... a ride to America is not her big goal...We even talked about living in Feodosia...>>>

Cherish these early experiences, especially the most traumatic ones, they get funnier and more precious as time goes by. From knowing my own Elena, I can easily imagine that your fiancee wants to love only you, and wants you to be thinking only of her. You'll just make it difficult for her to tell her about the others. >>>

Never in my life have I been treated with such respect!! My heart is filled with some of the most loving feelings that, well, let's say "I want to express to her." Yes, I have fears, their are that I will not measure up to her expectations...or am I really what she wants...>>>

Obviously, the more you know about Russian values and courtship the better your chances of making a good first impression. I would not recommend that you trifle with these women's affections or raise their hopes of marriage if you have no intention of marriage. >>>

Most of these women are very intelligent, highly educated and capable of many challenging undertakings. It is a challenge to find an outlet that will make them happy due to language, cultural and experience issues but it will be worth the effort. >>>

Someone had mentioned about he and his wife reading the same book both in (he)English and in (she)Russian. I talked with Marina today and before I could mention this great idea she asked me if there was a library where we could get a book in both English and Russian so that we could discuss this book together. I was amazed once again. This woman is truly my other half as we seem to be on the same wavelength even if we are a half world apart at this time. >>>

What isn't natural is to live alone, without that harmony in life's passion. I love the Ukraine, in reality it is a blessing that two people can unite. To question, is just may be my fear. I have time to grow in this pursuit, so I shall...>>>

The big difference is that their customs and culture lead them to be more feminine, and have the desire for more of a family life, then the obsession for material things that are associated with having their own career. >>>

There is something very special and womanly about you women from over there...the American feminists are incorrect, the overseas women are not subservient in any way...It seems to me that these Soviet women are more geared for a partnership with a man where certain roles are male and other roles are female...they want to enter a relationship where the man and woman are heavily dependent on each other instead of "independent" like Americans are taught to be ... that's why marriages never last in America, too much independent thinking...My girl tells me what I do anytime that she feels it falls under her jurisdiction and she really lets me know strongly if I mess up...

Sometimes I am quite servant to her,...but I am a happy servant because I know she is right and that she is only being a strong woman who is making me do what I am supposed to be doing...So yes, the Russian idea of man and women relations is much better, much more advanced...please resist the talk of the American women and stay a strong devoted Russian woman --that is what I am asking of my girl...And do not lose your "werry" cute accent...>>>

What has captured my attention is the perseverance of the AM/RW relationship. There is a magnetic--like appeal that I can't help but see, even when one doesn't work out. The magnetic force is still pulling AM to go back into their country, give it another try. Lord knows it's by far the most expensive way to date!

My only point here is I admire your drive to succeed in romance under such obstacles placed by governments. >>>

I believe that love no matter the distance should be placed in a frontal position, concerns yes, ideals yes, but most of all the matters that create a relationship. This presents a real situation that can build a foundation that will last no matter the trials. This is what I am looking for. The right way to know her heart. The right way to express my heart. It takes two in a relationship. One that will give when the giving is needed and the other to receive when the gift is offered. This goes both ways in our life. >>>

We cannot deny that culture is a big factor in a relationship. We can adhere to the tool bag and with all the information we have we can adjust to many of the problems that arrive. I think the problem with relationships is the lack of communication at first. You know, it really does not matter where you find your life's mate at all. What matters is that you make sure that they are knowledgeable in your world. >>>

I had so many people telling me I must be patient after my fiancee came here and I nodded, thanked them and went on with my life because I knew that I was a patient man having raised twin sons from age 11 and off to College... Ha Ha Ha ---I didn't even come close to knowing about patience and I was at my wit's end on more than one occasion. At one point she told me she wanted to return to Russia and I was so worn down that I sad in a sad voice that I would book the tickets tomorrow-----. I should have said nothing. I have found in the past 22 months of knowing my wife that she is the most honest and truthful woman I know. I do not think infidelity will ever be a problem in most AM/RW relationships as we guys do not realize how these women really look at the man they call--My Husband. We may be their whipping boy but we are THEIRS and the loyalty I have seen is astounding. She makes me crazy but I love it...>>>

Chapter 3 -->

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