Chapter 2: It all speaks for itself or What American
men say about Russian women?
I am in love with a Russian woman, and I want her
to stay a Russian woman. It is not my purpose to change who she
is. I love who she is very much. My goal instead is to reach a mutual
understanding about the cultural differences. And while I do not
want to change who she is, or change her soul and personality created
by the influence of her culture, I stand willing and able to adapt
myself to her needs and wants, and to help her understand American
First time saw in words what I have been trying to
describe as my feeling of the Russian woman epitomizing femininity
and elegance. Well said - indeed. >>>
What is the motivation? Can it actually be that magical?
No...The root is a desire to achieve more in life. From the FSU
to have a life without so much uncertainty. From the USA to attain
a life with so much certainty. Kind of a blending of desires. A
union of goals. Each with a unique perspective and view of reality.
Nether right or wrong. If it feels right...it is. If it feels wrong...move
on. Decide for yourself which is real, follow that path, and never
ever look back. Life will create its own rewards. >>>
I have no idea how big a difference there is yet,
our language barrier has so far, not let us talk enough to find
out exactly what is going on inside each other...Natasha is a constant
source of amazement to me. I was glad that I did see little human
flaws in her, I am glad that we did have a few small misunderstandings.
I hope to unwrap a lot of the mystery in the time, but actually
it is kind of nice having a bit of mystery left over and I hope
that never completely ends. I am convinced that there are very big
differences between these East and Western women...Every little
kindness to Natasha is repaid to me in double amount and I don't
think that treatment is ever going to end. I get more of a great
partnership feeling with her... a ride to America is not her big
goal...We even talked about living in Feodosia...>>>
Cherish these early experiences, especially the most
traumatic ones, they get funnier and more precious as time goes
by. From knowing my own Elena, I can easily imagine that your fiancee
wants to love only you, and wants you to be thinking only of her.
You'll just make it difficult for her to tell her about the others.
Never in my life have I been treated with such respect!!
My heart is filled with some of the most loving feelings that, well,
let's say "I want to express to her." Yes, I have fears, their are
that I will not measure up to her expectations...or am I really
what she wants...>>>
Obviously, the more you know about Russian values
and courtship the better your chances of making a good first impression.
I would not recommend that you trifle with these women's affections
or raise their hopes of marriage if you have no intention of marriage.
Most of these women are very intelligent, highly educated
and capable of many challenging undertakings. It is a challenge
to find an outlet that will make them happy due to language, cultural
and experience issues but it will be worth the effort. >>>
Someone had mentioned about he and his wife reading
the same book both in (he)English and in (she)Russian. I talked
with Marina today and before I could mention this great idea she
asked me if there was a library where we could get a book in both
English and Russian so that we could discuss this book together.
I was amazed once again. This woman is truly my other half as we
seem to be on the same wavelength even if we are a half world apart
at this time. >>>
What isn't natural is to live alone, without that
harmony in life's passion. I love the Ukraine, in reality it is
a blessing that two people can unite. To question, is just may be
my fear. I have time to grow in this pursuit, so I shall...>>>
The big difference is that their customs and culture
lead them to be more feminine, and have the desire for more of a
family life, then the obsession for material things that are associated
with having their own career. >>>
There is something very special and womanly about
you women from over there...the American feminists are incorrect,
the overseas women are not subservient in any way...It seems to
me that these Soviet women are more geared for a partnership with
a man where certain roles are male and other roles are female...they
want to enter a relationship where the man and woman are heavily
dependent on each other instead of "independent" like Americans
are taught to be ... that's why marriages never last in America,
too much independent thinking...My girl tells me what I do anytime
that she feels it falls under her jurisdiction and she really lets
me know strongly if I mess up...
Sometimes I am quite servant to her,...but I am a
happy servant because I know she is right and that she is only being
a strong woman who is making me do what I am supposed to be doing...So
yes, the Russian idea of man and women relations is much better,
much more advanced...please resist the talk of the American women
and stay a strong devoted Russian woman --that is what I am asking
of my girl...And do not lose your "werry" cute accent...>>>
What has captured my attention is the perseverance
of the AM/RW relationship. There is a magnetic--like appeal that
I can't help but see, even when one doesn't work out. The magnetic
force is still pulling AM to go back into their country, give it
another try. Lord knows it's by far the most expensive way to date!
My only point here is I admire your drive to succeed
in romance under such obstacles placed by governments. >>>
I believe that love no matter the distance should
be placed in a frontal position, concerns yes, ideals yes, but most
of all the matters that create a relationship. This presents a real
situation that can build a foundation that will last no matter the
trials. This is what I am looking for. The right way to know her
heart. The right way to express my heart. It takes two in a relationship.
One that will give when the giving is needed and the other to receive
when the gift is offered. This goes both ways in our life. >>>
We cannot deny that culture is a big factor in a relationship.
We can adhere to the tool bag and with all the information we have
we can adjust to many of the problems that arrive. I think the problem
with relationships is the lack of communication at first. You know,
it really does not matter where you find your life's mate at all.
What matters is that you make sure that they are knowledgeable in
your world. >>>
I had so many people telling me I must be patient
after my fiancee came here and I nodded, thanked them and went on
with my life because I knew that I was a patient man having raised
twin sons from age 11 and off to College... Ha Ha Ha ---I didn't
even come close to knowing about patience and I was at my wit's
end on more than one occasion. At one point she told me she wanted
to return to Russia and I was so worn down that I sad in a sad voice
that I would book the tickets tomorrow-----. I should have said
nothing. I have found in the past 22 months of knowing my wife that
she is the most honest and truthful woman I know. I do not think
infidelity will ever be a problem in most AM/RW relationships as
we guys do not realize how these women really look at the man they
call--My Husband. We may be their whipping boy but we are THEIRS
and the loyalty I have seen is astounding. She makes me crazy but
I love it...>>>
Chapter 3 -->
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